I was preparing to leave and head to Seminary last week. My 11 month old daughter had not been feeling very good, and had been in one of those hold me 24/7 moods. As I finished packing my bag with my books and laptop I waved bye to my wife and daughter who stoood in the doorway to our master bedroom. I walked towards to the garage, and as soon as I left the sight of my daughter she let out a blood curdling scream and began to cry so loud. Yup, you guessed it I stopped dead in my tracks, dropped my bag, and went back to let her see me. I saw my wife doing all she could to keep a hold of our daughter as she was trying to get away and run me down. What a moment for Daddy.

At that moment I heard the Lord speak to my heart and say, " I love that." I am thinking what? So he continued to speak to me and say, " I love it when you seek me, your heavenly Father like that. I love when it seems that I am out of sight that you fight to find me. I am Daddy that loves you more than you love her." Which then reminded me of this passage from Galatians....

Galatians 4:1-7 1 Think of it this way. If a father dies and leaves an inheritance for his young children, those children are not much better off than slaves until they grow up, even though they actually own everything their father had. 2 They have to obey their guardians until they reach whatever age their father set. 3 And that’s the way it was with us before Christ came. We were like children; we were slaves to the basic spiritual principles* of this world. 4 But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. 5 God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.* 6 And because we* are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”* 7 Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child.* And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.

I know that if you are not a parent this may not be as eay to understand but I hope what the Lord taught me would challenge you to run after your Daddy. To scream/cry out for Him because He loves it. He wants us to need him and trust and know we are safe with Him. May you live that way today. Amen.

1. Do not be on a computer in an area where you are alone.  You should always be on computer in a public place or in a family room where others are.  By the way, being on a computer in the family room when no one is home is still being on a computer when you are alone.  In the age of laptops this is becoming more and more difficult.  So make boundaries that are necessary to not allow yourself to be on your laptop alone.
   
             Oh and by the way, be cautious of data plans and cell phones!!!  There are too many phones that can access full web
             images and video.  Because of this you need to treat phones as much as possible like a computer.
2. There are some great software products out there and I have found one to be very effective.  The reason I recommend this over other software products is because there is an accountability feature.  Most software has some kind of blocking system but no accountability.  This software will allow you to pick accountability partners that will receive email reports on sites that you have visited.  You can take a look at this software at http://x3watch.com/
3. PRAY!  Parents pray that your kids would get caught.  Then pray for wisdom in how to minister and shepherd your child through that time and temptation.  Students pray that you would learn to love God and that his plan for your sexuality would trump your lustful desires.  I know that sounds so simple but it really is the bottom line for how we overcome any temptation.  Oh and Mom and Dad you can pray that for them and yourselves also.
4. Parents, pornography is not just a male issue.  I recently saw a survey where 13% of the women surveyed admitted to looking at pornography at work.  So not only is it not just a male issue but it is also not just a teen issue.  This is a sin issue that has no age or gender boundaries.  Don’t make this a teen male issue only!
5. Lastly, I would remind all of us to be careful of what we define as pornography.  For instance, Sports illustrated swimsuit editions are not considered pornography.  Really?  Ya Really!  But I would argue that it has the same intention as “pornography”!  This is what I believe is the most difficult part of this battle.  There are so many commercials, billboards, TV shows, movies, and magazines that are not rated XXX yet the result of seeing or watching is much the same.  For your life and those around you, try to lead a life that desires there to not even be a hint of sexual immorality among you, according to Ephesians 5:3!

   I have tried to separate these recommendations into 3 categories to help you pick one that might best suit your life.

1.   The One Who likes to Read: 

By the way, I am not this person.  But if you are a person who likes to read then here are some ideas.  There is a devo book called My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It is a quick verse or two  and about a page everyday for a year. So it is not a long read, but the style of writing can be difficult to understand so I would only give this to someone who reads at a high level and enjoys it.  I would also recommend the book Humility by CJ Mahaney.  I don’t know that this book is designed to be a devotional book, but is great as one.  5-10 pages of reading if you did it by chapters every day.  It’s a geat read!

2.   The One Who is Not a Reader:

This is more of my world.  There are several versions of a devotional called 31 Verses Every Teenager Should Know by Student Life.  When I say versions I mean that there is one that is 31 verses about the Bible, or 31 verses about our identity in Christ and so on.  These are great quick reads and I have found them awesome for memorizing scripture. Here is the link if you would like to look at or purchase these books. Click Here

3.   The One Who Journals:

I have two recommendations for those of you who love to journal.  The first is A Life Worth Following  (more for guys probably but can be good for girls too). This devotional was put together by a youth pastor from right here in Oklahoma.  One of the students of their church passed away in a car accident and as he read his student’s journal he thought this would be great to pass on so he did.  You can find this book at this link: click here.  I would also recommend The Search for Significance: Student Edition by  Robert McGee. 

I hope these recommendations help if you are looking for some form of a devotional book.  Love you guys and talk to you again soon.

My last post I had told you that my mother had been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer from head to toe.  My mom passed away July 21.  The same day my wife's grandmother passed away.  We had laready been living out of a suitcase trying to go back and forth from home to see my mom in the hospital.  The week my mom went into the hospital was the week before I was suppose dto lead a group of 350 to our HS camp in Florida.  One of my best decisions in life was to not lead that trip.  I stayed back and stayed at the hospital with my mom and family.  It was the first tiem I had ever had to miss a camp and it was a very strange thing but again the best decision ever. 

As i told you in a former post my Mom was a believer in Jesus Christ.  So I it is beautiful picture and overwhelming comfort to know that my mom is hearing the Angels shout to one another "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord of Hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory."  Jesus thank you for the grace that you freely gave to cover the soul of my mother.  As great as my mother was to me this was not a gift that she earned or deserved, but only recieved through your love for her and again your choosing to give that grace.  God thank you for that.

As for me; God has used this time to stir in me to be a man who seeks wisdom in his life more than just in the crisis of life.  In the midst fo the spurring fromt he Lord I have started reading Proverbs this week and instantly I see my life described.  In the first Chapter it talks about wisdom shouting out as to get the naive's attention but they ignore the cry of wisdom.  Then when calamity comes they look for wisdom but cannot find it because they ignored it and chose not to fear the Lord. 

How desperately I need wisdom to teach my Naive life.  So much of my life has been lived as a fool who ignores the cries of wisdom until calamity comes to life and then in my selfish desire to succeed or have a easier path I then cryout to wisdom.  My prayer is that I would be slow to speak and quick to listen!  That I could live as proverbs says, "But he who listens to me shall live securely And will be at ease from the dread of evil."(Proverbs 1:33) 

Father I lack wisdom in my life, but I am asking that you would teach me how to live in all situations.  would I not be a naive fool who lives as though he hates knowledge (Proverbs 1:22).  Teach me to fear the Lord and to love wisdom and instruction (Proverbs 1:7).

   Of course I tried to be strong for mom; whatever that really means!  the best part was my mom looking at me and sayng that no matter what she was ready.  i replied that i knew she was.  She then replied but you know what I mean I am ready for what is come whenever that may be.  What comforting statement that my mother knows she going to see her savior whenever that day arrives.  So we talked about what few options were left and then after playing some more the most beautiful baby girl in the world they went home.

   As a youth pastor I have prayed with many families and people for healing for them or a loved one.  I have even seen God answer those prayers.  I truly got to go pray with a women in the hospital once and the next was told that her cancer was gone.  But this not a stranger its my mother and I find that i pray for healing but i am not sure how much faith I have that healing will come.  Maybe it is a defense move so that i dont get disappointed.  But i don't understand why my prayer seems and feels so faithless.  I just find myself saying God heal her but knowing that part of my heart is already trying to prepare for the life to come rather than now.  Sometimes i even want my mom to be in Heaven where i can know that she will have no pain, or not start losing her memory, or deal with the illness that comes from treatment.

God would you help my unbelief.  Would I pray that your will be done!  Would I not be double minded in my prayer!  Also help to see what else i should pray for besides jsut my mothers physical healing.  Would i pray for family to find salvation for family members.  For your glory to be revealed.

  As I view my life I see so many more failures than this.  I can onlyh hope that Christ would allow me to be used in half the ways that Peter was.  What a comfort to be reminded I don't have to be perfect but I do have to just keep gettign up and placing Christ first and he will remain faithful even when I am faithless. (2 Timothy 2:13)  Thank you Father that you never let go of us.  That you always see Your Son in us.  May I drop all and follow you today and continue to do the same even after I have failed misreably. 

So last weekend I am at a leaders meeting with some of our students.  We have a time called the Hot Seat as created by Chris Newkirk.  This is a time where we select one student at a time to sit in the middle of  circle and anyone can encourage that student in anyway that they want.  Well after having all of our senior leaders go through the hot seat then anarchy occurred.  The seniors attacked me and said that I had to go through the hot seat. 

One student said something that really stuck with me and made me think about how I do ministry. She said, "I know that you love us so much and you always give me hope.  Whenever I think I can't so something or God can't use me you make me and all of us believe that we can.  You have no idea how much that has meant to me."  WOW! 

But the question then came to my mind is that true for all the students feel that way?  Do I give them hope?  I wrote a while back about how I believe that our words impact what people think of themselves, their thoughts about their relationship with Christ, and ultimately the way that they live.  All I can do about that is control my words and actions.  So do i communicate to the students that pastor and the students that I preach to at other event a message of hope.  That they leave believing it is possible; highly possible to live like Christ.  Peter talked about this in I Peter 3:14-15.  He said don't be afraid of those who try to intimidate you; sanctify Christ as Lord and be ready to give a defense of the hope that you have.  Make Christ first and tell people about your hope!  It seems like sometimes instead we give people apologetics, our rules, our morals, our church, instead of Christ our Lord and the Hope that comes with Him.

SO this week nd hopefully the rest of my life I want to share the Hope I have in Christ and also pass that hope onto every leader and student that is apart of any ministry I do.  Thanks breakfast club for the love and making me better.

One story was of a hired hand who caught in the wilderness in the midst of a great storm.  The storm was fierce that the sheep scattered as did the hired hand.  The shepherds on the other hand spent the entire night gathering the sheep back together while the hired hand ran in fear that the shepherds would take his life for leaving the sheep.  Which Laniak says they could have done but he doesn't say if they did.

The stories in this book have reminded me that to be a pastor was never to be easy.  There will be days that are very stormy.  So stormy that the congregation may scatter but as a shepherd I am called to stand with the sheep.  Then I thought where are these pastors.  It seems like so many of my conversations with pastors is about how frustrating their churches are or how as a youth pastor they can't get along with their pastors or that they don't like the worship at their church.  Then there is another group that you talk to you that same the same things and then talk about starting their own church so they can have a church the way they want church to be. 

Now I understand that there are some situations that truly are bad situations, and churches that do not want to be a church that do not want to be about the Kingdom of God.  Yet, isn't it a Shepherds job to lead the sheep where they should be and not where they want to be?  Who is going to lead the sheep that back that have scattered or find the sheep that are lost if all we do as pastors is find places that we deem as found and healthy.

Jesus said it like this, "John 10:11-21 (NASB95)
11 “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. 12 “He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 “He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. 14 “I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, 15 even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. 16 “I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. 17 “For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. 18 “No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.” 19 A division occurred again among the Jews because of these words. 20 Many of them were saying, “He has a demon and is insane. Why do you listen to Him?” 21 Others were saying, “These are not the sayings of one demon-possessed. A demon cannot open the eyes of the blind, can he?”

As dumb as this sounds but I want to be like the pastor described in the book This Present Darkness.   Forgive my paraphrase but he is a pastor that the church keeps voting to try and fire him because his preaching is stepping on too many toes yet he remains with no plans of leaving.  He actually prays that God would keep him there and bring revival to the small town that God has called him to.  Then there are angels who say of him,  "He is why we are here.  He called out for the Father to send us.  Even now as he mows his yard he prays for the church and town"

I want to be that kind of pastor.  Always crying out to God to move and never giving up on people that seem so far off.  I want to be a picture and embodiment of The Good Shepherd!  As the reverend from the movie the Patriot said, "A shepherd must tend his flock, and sometimes fight off the wolves." 

Where have thses shpeherds gone?  Am I shepherds or am I a hired hand?  Am I one who will run when the wolf comes?  I pray that I am not!  God teach me and drive me to be a shepherd that stands with his flock in good and bad.  That is willing to go where the you send me Lord.  Whether that means small or large flock.  Healthy or in need of revival flock. Give me a love for my sheep that cannot be quenched, and Lord forgive for the times that I don't shepherd this way.

   I had never experienced that before because i am always stressing out over getting them to whereever we are going and then home. Today i understand better.  There is that emotion where you are so excited for them and you can't wait for them to see God move and for them to get to share the story of Jesus with someone.  You can't wait for them to get stretched and pushed to lead more than they ever have before.  You can't for them to realize they are capable of so much more than they ever thought they could do.  Yet, i don't want them to go.  At least don't want them to go without me.  You want to be there when they succeed and be their biggest cheerleader and be there when they fail so you can encourage them to keep going.  i don't want to go through the next phase, which is; when they get home i will have no clue about any of those things and will have to try to pull it out of them.  Though it will be frustrating i know it will be worth the struggle.

   All that to say I didn't realize how much i love my kids until today.  For whatever reason seeing them go and me not there made me realize how much i love spending time with them.  How much i love seeing them do what God made them to do; Take the Gospel to the world.  I am so blessed to be called the youth pastor of this group, and i do not want to waste a moment of pouring all i have from my Savior into them.  Thank you God for the opportunity to be called into ministry and to receive the responsibility of shepherding teenagers!  What a blessing that i do not deserve.

It was at that moment that I realized this baby girl (Logan Hannah) could be here literally at any moment.  Everything changed at that  moment.  Every call from my wife scares the crap out of me.  All those toys and bouncers have to get put together now.  Have we saved enough money thoughts are racign through your head.  It has so effected to way that I live in the past two days.  Every moment that I have to just be with my wife and go on dates all the sudden seem more important than ever.  Saving money more important.  Reading parenting books more important.  Prayer more important.  Getting nursery totally setup more important.  Every moment is now more valuable!

I remember a preacher one time asking the question what if we lived in such way that Jesus could come back any moment.  How would it change the way we live our lives?  After this week I have gone back to that question and I would have to say a lot.  What if as followers of Jesus we realized that our time to be undershepherds and ministers was quickly coming to an end?  I definitely see that is something that is lacking in my life.  An urgency and value of every moment that I have to glorify the name of Christ.  I need to live with that passion! 

So today I want to make a choice to love God and love people as though any moment my opportunity to share that love with the world as you know it now could be my last.  Father give me the strength to follow you with wreckless abandon!

  We had over 700 teenagers from 7 different churches gather together to be challenged by scripture and come together as the body of Christ.  We spent time praying for every campus in our community.  We even had a time where HS students prayed over MS studetns that was awesome and we had a time where MS students prayed over Hs students.  In the midst of having that many students gathered together and staying the weekend in other people's houses there were no majuor glitches.  Even more important was the fact that studetns met with Christ.  They were challenged to "Follow Jesus" and they have to this point accepted the challenge.  So again it was a weekend where God showed that he cares more for the sutdents in our ministry than I do.  He showed that he knows more about the details than I do.  It is that same old thing that I always here every pastor say after a big event, God always comes through and puts everything together.  So thanks Lord for showing that You are in control and that You provide and that you still answer prayer!

   I don't why but right before every event that I help coordinate it feels like the sky is falling.  It seems as if nothing is going right and that everything is going to fall apart at any second.  I start to wake-up with nightmares of did I give the band and speakers the right dates or did we get food ordered or are we sure that person knows they are a sponsor.  I start to get worried about all the financial implications if not enough people come.  I worry about anything and everything you can imagine.  Then Friday the start of Big Weekend gets here, and all of the sudden I am calm and filled with excitement.  Why?  Because at that moment I recognize the fact that there is nothing else I can do for the event.  There no more ideas I can come up with to make this event over the top incredible but now it is all about the Holy Spirit coming in power and changing the lives of teenagers.  All I can do now is rely on Him!

   I feel like God is really trying to lead me to a place where I truly pray more.  To a place where my life is much more like the first day of Big Weekend or camp than the week before.  A place where I stop and realize that is God that changes lives and not programs or events or ideas.  Now I am not saying that planning or trying to think through details is a bad thing.  Those things are needed in order to make the program or event go smooth, safe, and have as little distraction as possible so people can focus on Christ.  What I am saying is maybe that I could learn to trust and rest in Him with the details rather than on me.  Maybe I could somehow stop and pray and be reminded that God knows every detail that needs to be met.  He knows every word that needs to be said.  He knows every worry that is stressing me to the point that feel like I can't breathe.  I can almost see Jesus in my mind with smile and just shaking His head saying, "Daryl, you ready to let Me help you?" 

   So for anyone who might actual read this very unknown blog please pray that I would stop and rest in Him with details.  Even more so pray that this weekend would change students lives.  That they would come with hearts of fertile soil where the seeds of truth can take deep root.  Thanks!